Fashionista Police-Sta

Day 159

October 11, 2013

Team Zybko

If it weren't for the big brown eyes identical to Baby Daddy's, her kissable pointy chin and her sassy attitude I surely would have some blood tests done. Is Jerry Springer still on T.V and is his available? Did they give the right baby to me 6 years ago? So many questions in motherhood. 

God does know I am more of a Tomboy than frills and sparkles right? Yes of course he knows that. That it what makes it more fun, more challenging and definitely more entertaining to be a mother to a child so concerned with fashion. 

Delilah almost used her taser on me a few hours ago but thankfully she let me go on account of good behavior and a girl scout promise to eventually change out of my favorite coffee mug pajamas. What's the big deal, doesn't she know everyone goes through car line and Walmart in their feel good pants. 

Ok, maybe not everyone. 

Meet Sergeant Delilah. 

Head of the Fashionista Police Department. 

Finding a part to our broken vacuum cleaner in the prison van prompted it all and caught me off guard as what was to come next. We are not a NO gun family but neither do we promote aiming the barrel of a pretend plastic handgun at innocent yoga pant wearing people. I mean really, one minute I was enjoying the sunshine of a beautiful fall afternoon and then BAM!  Out of the blue, arrested by a six year hot shot with a Smith and Wesson tucked conveniently in her size 7 elastic waist band. With a terrible accent combination she told me to put my hands up and she wasn't gonna tell me again. Part New York City Cop part Jesse James meets Wyatt Earp. I couldn't help but smile and laugh in the face of danger. 

 Ma'am!! I said Ma'am.

 Hey use lady, did ya nought hea-ahh me or sumpin?

I reach for the sky with all 10 digits but still can't stop laughing.

Where on earth did she come from and where are her instructions? 

Even Drexel told her you can't just go around shooting people just because you don't like the clothes they are wearing. Yes, shark bathing suit with a striped shirt dude, you are right I totally agree. Well I'm not really shooting them, just their awful outfits so they can never wear them again in public. 

My bullets by the way are shaped like lips.

Of course they are honey.

I listen carefully, stroking her creative side, trying hard to figure out what part of home school this could be good for. In my mind I settle with a credit in drama class as she tells me she uses her compass to find women wearing plaid. Whats wrong with plaid? Obviously I'm behind the times as she tells me, 

mom, plaid is so last season and so are messy buns. 

Guilty and guilty.

I can't make this stuff up. 

Thank you Lord for keeping me on my toes and for the uniqueness of all my children. May I continue to learn daily from them all.