Kids Say the Darndest Things

I Didn't See That Coming

Day 83-Year 3

Team Zybko

November 25, 2014

Well, I certainly didn’t see that one coming. 

Where do they come up with this stuff? I sometimes can't help myself from laughing. This happens a lot around here in the real days of life with kids. Phrases, comments and questions out of the mouths of babes can catch you off guard and knock you off task in the most pleasant of ways. I suggest everyone take the time to jot a few down here and there as you march through the unexpected trenches of raising little ones. Write em down, fold em up, stick em in your back pocket memory bank for future use. Pull them out when the timing is right. Let’s say at a conversationally challenged get together, happy soccer sideline or a fun FB post intended for a far away relative. Even if the innocent words sting hard, make your head turn sideways or threaten your bladder to leak just a wee (wee) bit. Trust me, these honest little blurbs are worth remembering.

Child #1

Mom, when I become a teenage I am going to try my best not to be embarrassed by you.

Thanks, that is the nicest thing I have heard all day.

Well, I’m not promising anything but I will try super hard to ignore the awkward moments you always get us into.

Mom, when you one day get a real job I know what you could do.
What's that sweetie?
You could be a reverse-psychologist, you are really good at that.   

Child #2

Mom, what does MTV stand for anyway?

After an insightful 10 minute history lesson about the 80's, including cable T.V, VCR’S, microwaves and leg warmers just for effect....this was the next question.

So, it was in black and white?
Ugh.

So mom, dissecting a frog today was interesting.

Yea?

My partner claimed she was getting all "woozy" so I was left to cut through the tiny anus all by myself. I’m pretty sure I got an A though.

Oh, great honey, I always knew you had it in you!

Child #3

I can’t wait to get taller.

You will dear, in time.

It will be great, then, when I hug you I won't be in your armpit and look up at all your weird nose hairs.

Why did you sneak in the bed last night?

I had a terrible dream mom.

Really?

Yes, it was so scary.

What was it about?

I showed up to a super fancy dance in tennis shoes, jeans and no lipstick.

And you are saying you woke up out of a deep sleep from this dream?

Mom, I'm serious, it was really awful. It was a real nightmare!