Leftover Halloween Candy

9 Easy Do's and Don'ts

Day 86-Year 3

December 9, 2014

Team Zybko

DO allow your pre-teen to use a large selection and combination of candy to create a mind boggling, colossal pancake weighing roughly the same amount as an standard smart car.

DO randomly stuff fistfuls into every package you take to the Post Office until Christmas and beyond, unless of course those little miniature Milky Ways and Snickers are wrapped in Halloween orange. Bummer. Pick and choose carefully, otherwise it is just plain tacky and quite obvious you are simply ditching and dumping. 
BTW it is actually against some religions to throw away chocolate. Yep, I read that somewhere on the Wide World Web last week. 

DO encourage your child to draw treasure maps of playfully hidden candy around the house or whatever other game they can come up with. Bingo? War?

DO sit back and enjoy as the children sharpen their bargaining, social and business skills for trading and bribing.

DO realize that a mom tax (stole this expression from a friend) is a totally legit part of the gig. Explaining this to your children prior to Trick or Treating is beneficial in avoiding unwanted confusion. 

*mom tax is any amount and type of candy the mom needs decides upon the time she needs decides.

DON'T ever, ever, ever leave a bag out in plain sight. Unless you have mastered the art of moderation. Yea, like I said, hide it, tuck it way, leave it on the porch, locked up in the gun cabinet,  the backseat of the minivan it doesn't matter.  Just anywhere other than the kitchen counter or beside your pillow and a tall glass of chilled milk. 

DON'T secretly take above mentioned mom tax out of a child's bag that unbeknownst to you has an updated hourly organized spread sheet of his candy inventory. 
I'm really sorry honey, I think mommy was PMS sleep eating again. BTW, you are out of Peanut M&M's and the regular kind.

DON'T be surprised when the Almond Joys, mini popcorn bags, hard candies and Mary Janes of the lot go unloved for weeks. Nature of the beast people. Do see above snail mail advice. These tossed aside ignored 'treats' are excellent for extra padding when you run out of the big brown bubbled envelopes.

DON'T smuggle in a sandwich size baggie full of candy to the movies only to leave the uneaten sticky stash mess for an unsuspected soccer mom to sit on in the dark, adhering her big bum bum to the theatre seat like crazy glue while almost ripping her favorite yoga pants as she inadvertently moons the other patrons. Run on sentence and true story.