My Worst Nightmare
I'm a Minivan Jan
I'm a Minivan Jan
Day 197
November 21, 2013
Team Zybko
I now drive a tan minivan. I am a minivan Jan. Yep, my worst vehicle nightmare has come true. I now blend in with everyone other soccer mom on the planet. Boring brown. Could it get any worse? Yes it can. I can never find my new ride in a crowded parking lot. Maybe the sliding doors, better gas mileage, re-arrangeable cozy seats and a mostly blank back window ready for a Terrific Kid sticker should cheer me up. But it doesn't. Camel Jack is no Mr. McGoogly.
Shut up! Driving a minivan isn't the worst thing that could happen to me, nor is it even a problem that should register on the radar of problems at all. It runs, it gets me from point A to point B. I'm not that shallow people. Shame on you for thinking my entire identity would wrapped up in car. Geesh. You wanna talk about real nightmares, let me tell you about ripping a hole in my favorite pair of sturdy, spanx like yoga pants. I slid across those bleachers like a boss until I hit a sharp corner and....well, I'm wearing them today anyway. Can't keep a good pair of pants down.
I thought the miniature VW was cute but it just didn't work out between us. Giving it go for a while, I tried making excuses for our incapability but we ended up breaking up just a few short weeks later. He hasn't called, texted or even Face Booked me. I'm totally OK with that. In the end I told him the truth, it wasn't him it was me. It was just too extreme of a change. So small it made my brain hurt and my elbow, every time I switched gears my right arm hit Delaney's 40 pound 6th grade backpack. No bike rack, no hold all drawers, no space to think and here was the real kicker. The 1996 cup holders weren't even big enough to fit a venti sized latte from Starbucks. Now that's shallow. HA! I suppose the designers couldn't foresee the importance of a 20 ounce hot and strong caffeine treat for sleepy soccer moms or the fact roughly 2 decades later there would be almost 2 gazillion of these places around. Size does matter. If you have $7 to blow on a cup of joe that is.
So here I am, the new me. A hand-me-down minivan Jan. Cruising through middle school cars lines twice a day, drive thrus and the busy streets of Charlotte in pure aerodynamic style. Camel Jack has been around the block for sure, he doesn't come with out issues. The passenger side window rolls down but not up, the right door won't open, the ceiling skin is beginning to droop, it has A/C but no heat, the loud alarm has a mind of its own BUT there ain't nothing wrong with the radio. Now that would be my worst nightmare.
Shut up! Driving a minivan isn't the worst thing that could happen to me, nor is it even a problem that should register on the radar of problems at all. It runs, it gets me from point A to point B. I'm not that shallow people. Shame on you for thinking my entire identity would wrapped up in car. Geesh. You wanna talk about real nightmares, let me tell you about ripping a hole in my favorite pair of sturdy, spanx like yoga pants. I slid across those bleachers like a boss until I hit a sharp corner and....well, I'm wearing them today anyway. Can't keep a good pair of pants down.
I thought the miniature VW was cute but it just didn't work out between us. Giving it go for a while, I tried making excuses for our incapability but we ended up breaking up just a few short weeks later. He hasn't called, texted or even Face Booked me. I'm totally OK with that. In the end I told him the truth, it wasn't him it was me. It was just too extreme of a change. So small it made my brain hurt and my elbow, every time I switched gears my right arm hit Delaney's 40 pound 6th grade backpack. No bike rack, no hold all drawers, no space to think and here was the real kicker. The 1996 cup holders weren't even big enough to fit a venti sized latte from Starbucks. Now that's shallow. HA! I suppose the designers couldn't foresee the importance of a 20 ounce hot and strong caffeine treat for sleepy soccer moms or the fact roughly 2 decades later there would be almost 2 gazillion of these places around. Size does matter. If you have $7 to blow on a cup of joe that is.
So here I am, the new me. A hand-me-down minivan Jan. Cruising through middle school cars lines twice a day, drive thrus and the busy streets of Charlotte in pure aerodynamic style. Camel Jack has been around the block for sure, he doesn't come with out issues. The passenger side window rolls down but not up, the right door won't open, the ceiling skin is beginning to droop, it has A/C but no heat, the loud alarm has a mind of its own BUT there ain't nothing wrong with the radio. Now that would be my worst nightmare.
