15 Stupid Ideas that Seemed Good at the Time

Day 303

March 1, 2014

Team Zybko

In the long run, all ideas are not created equal. I know this now. Hindsight is, well....hindsight is wonderful, smarter and definitely clearer than my old lady vision and need for reading glasses. Some "great" ideas are birthed out of laziness, excitement, stupidity or inexperience. Other brainiac ideas stem from lack of sleep and middle age. We can only pretend to hope to learn from them.  

1) Leaving the house dressed like a Wal-Mart patron. Bras, non-slipper shoes and pants with buttons should be a baseline standard. Period. 

2) Saving money by cutting back on the amount of coffee beans used for my morning coffee. Fail.

3) My first marriage. 

3) Allowing La La the use of every single Barbie in the house for a bamming hot tub party during bath time. Dolls with algae joints and un-brushable hair aren't much fun to play with after the plastic dries and imaginary hang over sets in.

4) Staying up way past my soccer mom bedtime. Burning the midnight oil in a way that won't even come close to registering as important come the light of dawns crack. 

5) Strolling leisurely through Target telling myself I will only pick up 2 things. Milk and bread. Yea, right.

6) Volunteering to bake 100 homemade cookies for the 100th day of school and begin baking at 10:42 at night.

7) Wearing Yoga 24/7/365

8) Three way mirrors in ugly florescently lit fitting rooms in the middle of February. 

9) Driving too many mini-van miles while ignoring the fuel light, lazily passing by 327 gas stations. E means E people. 

10) Conveniently leaving a fork in the cake tray on the counter in full view during a long home school day. What cake? Gone like Donkey Kong.

11) Buying sub sub off brand toilet paper in bulk. Only 156 rolls left of what I call a spider web nightmare. Spare a square? Yes, take them all.    

12) Letting the ink dry on your child's birth certificate knowing certainly well you will always use the middle name as the real name. This is confusing and annoying. Sorry Dill.

13) Believing I can accomplish just one more in depth task before leaving the house as the minutes quickly tick by and  my presence is required elsewhere, on time. 

14) Allowing your iPhone to live its life naked. Even a $5 Dollar General case will help cushion the falls that inevitably will occur. 

15) Naively squeezing in a few quick fist pumps and single, single, double, double moves in the middle school car line along to the beat of my BFF Pitbull, all while expecting my child not to spot this catastrophic embarrassing behavior. 

FYI    I couldn't help it... is not a soothing response to a hormonal 12 year old, nor is  jumping out of van attempting your best funky grapevine finished with a side walk rendition of an 80's style worm. 
Not cool mom, not cool.
I'm here to help. That is all.