Day One In Haiti (part two)
I wipe my tear stained face, dirt already underneath my finger nails. I look around the hot, grungy van at the other members of the team. Laughing, smiling, talking, napping. They all look normal. Not me, my head is stuck in quick sand. I take deep breaths and talk myself through what is going on outside the smeared window. I hear my voice drone on, I begin to annoy myself. It sounds like I'm giving a 1979 BRADY BUNCH pep talk to one of my kids.
Everything is going to be fine honey.
Let's find the good in this.
What's life without adventures.
There is no I in TEAM.
BLAH BLAH BLAH
I was getting nowhere in my mind but the van continued to whiz, turn and bump down the worst conditioned roads I've ever been on. Is this for real? Every inch of the road is a dusty, filthy mess. Nobody seems to notice or care when other Haitians use the bathroom just inches away from their piles of fruit and raw meat for sale. I do wonder what THEY are thinking. 16 clean WHITE people with moist eyes and expensive cameras. Are they offended? Do they know why we are taking pictures? Not because we see beauty but in complete disbelief. Where is the other side of the tracks or better part of town? We have been on the road two hours, I'm beginning to think there is NO better...........
LIFE CHANGING..........NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.......SPIRITUAL GROWTH
Oh yea, we all heard the well wishers weeks and days before departing on this Haitian Vacation. I know now it wasn't just small talk or hot air. I'm already changing. My life is a cozy, easy breeze compared to what it is here........like Paris Hilton I live in SC. How dare I complain the white tile on my kitchen floor shows all the dirt?
At home I sometimes feel too lazy to get through bath time with the kids. Well, things change after watching a dedicated Momma bathe her toddler in a scummy roadside puddle. I will never see this warm, lavish, bubbly routine the same again.
As far as growing. I think I've just hit puberty. I want my mom to grab a ruler and measure me on the wall. She would be excited to see I've grown at least 2 and 1/2 inches....spiritually, that is.
My marathon conversation with GOD continues the entire ride to the hotel and well past lights out. Why? Why? Why? I dive into my beautiful new green travel Bible. Bought especially for this trip to Haiti. I push back the stiff front cover, smile at the embroidered dragon fly and search for answers. Different than at home..... it's quiet in my room, no babies, no snoring, no distractions. I read wherever my now clean fingers flip to. As I meditate on HIS WORD I'm very aware of my breathing. Long deep breaths........like cleansing Yoga. I'm still.......very still...... except for my lungs moving slowly up and down. I'm pretty sure I've never in my entire life been this quiet......I then could have sworn I heard a soft voice whisper........
It is about you Victoria and you are exactly where I want you.
I better get some rest, these Haiti days are L-O-N-G