Bad News
Delaney LOVES "Real" School
Day 134
September 13, 2013
Team Zybko
Bad News
Delaney LOVES Real School
Day
September 13, 2013
Team Zybko
Delaney LOVES her new "real" school. Bummer. I don't want it to be true. The selfish part of me wants the transition of her going back into public school from home school to be all wrong. I desperately wait for my cell phone to vibrate through out the day with a call from the school. Checking it in an OCD kinda way, maybe I missed a call. Swipe swipe swipe til my finger is numb and my brain hurts.
This how the imaginary conversation would go down.
{{sniff sniff sniff}}
Mom, I hate it here in middle school. The kids are mean, the lunch room smells like feet and none of the teachers are as wonderful as you.
Please pick me up so I can be home schooled for just a little bit longer, or maybe through Grad school. I need you mom. I'm not ready. You are my favorite teacher in the world. Can you be here in 10 minutes?
{{sniff sniff sniff}}
Geesh, that sounds pretty bad when I say it out loud. Just being honest. Well, I can stop dreaming, the call has yet to come and probably never will, unless she forgets her lunch in the back seat of the van. So instead of continuing to wish for the worst, I do my part to propel the cycle forward. The cycle of growing up and becoming less dependent on momma bear. In a healthy way. Greasing the gears with affirmed confidence and faith that this is where she should be. We are 3 weeks into the new school routine and I still feel disoriented as my alarm wakes me up earlier than I am used to. Some strong coffee and precious time in the Word serves as the pre-game warm up and jump starts me into all the unknowns of the day. I dress myself up in a happy face and a good attitude, forging ahead, setting out for the morning car line.
By 8:08am she is gone, jumping out of the van with a hurried bye mom, love you. I smile and utter back in low toned voice as not to embarrass her, love you too honey, have a great day. I smile sweetly but I really wanna cry all over my inside out pajamas. I hate this cycle, it hurts. Against all carline procedures everywhere I travel at the slowest speed possible to ensure this momma bear sees her baby cub enter the building. I finally drive off reluctantly, only because a few teachers think my car has died an another teacher waves me on so fast I think her arm will fly off.
Four minutes late I am done praying and turn onto a real street, out of the school zone until 3:32pm. Praying about the possible pre-teen tough situations, tests, normal cafeteria shenanigans and the rest of the student body and teachers. I know you got this thang Lord, you love my kids way deeper and stronger than I ever could. This thought is extremely reassuring. Like a warm blanket around my heart. That's right, HE has her in his righteous right hand. I feel better about it all, I wipe my face and glance in my rear view mirror. My two smallest cubs smile back at me from the back seat, also ready for the day.
By 8:08am she is gone, jumping out of the van with a hurried bye mom, love you. I smile and utter back in low toned voice as not to embarrass her, love you too honey, have a great day. I smile sweetly but I really wanna cry all over my inside out pajamas. I hate this cycle, it hurts. Against all carline procedures everywhere I travel at the slowest speed possible to ensure this momma bear sees her baby cub enter the building. I finally drive off reluctantly, only because a few teachers think my car has died an another teacher waves me on so fast I think her arm will fly off.
Four minutes late I am done praying and turn onto a real street, out of the school zone until 3:32pm. Praying about the possible pre-teen tough situations, tests, normal cafeteria shenanigans and the rest of the student body and teachers. I know you got this thang Lord, you love my kids way deeper and stronger than I ever could. This thought is extremely reassuring. Like a warm blanket around my heart. That's right, HE has her in his righteous right hand. I feel better about it all, I wipe my face and glance in my rear view mirror. My two smallest cubs smile back at me from the back seat, also ready for the day.
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