365 RANDOM DAYS OF TEAM ZYBKO

DAY#110

March 3rd, 2012

These Are The Days to Remember, The Good the Bad and the Ugly.

There are two kinds of home schooling days that stick firmly in my mind. The really good days and the really bad ones. BLACK or WHITE not much room for any grey. I know, I know I certainly have a way with words right now. Let me try again. No in between, the day either works or doesn't in my memory bank. Burn your finger kinda tap water or no ice needed drinkable and refreshing. Still elementary explaining but you get the point.

OPPOSITES

I'm certainly not a rookie at the soccer mom gig, I've logged in many a rugged mile. Not perfect miles but experienced and well traveled. As a home schooling mom it's uncharted territory for me. I might as well be a newborn swaddled tightly in one of those thin stripped hospital blankets. Some days I'm a little unsure of myself and my surroundings, don't know how I got here and what I'm supposed to next. Just like the baby I have days I feel a little helpless.

Don't worry friends It's not time to call any sort of 1-800 help hot line I'm just being really honest. Some days I find it hard not to run away to a personalized

"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS"

rubber room. My close friend who has about 13 or 14 years of home schooling under her homemade pants (just kiddin', I just like that stereotype)  says the not so great, wanna give up days are normal. I regularly seek counsel from this soft spoken, Jesus loving, wise mom. Taking my hands in hers she lowers her head and voice to pray. Prayers for me, my students and this jacked up, crazy, very fulfilling ride I have been called to do. I close this special time with the sign of the cross, tears now cloud my vision. She then explains a little sumpin sumpin to me.

An analogy I "LOL" when I hear it, thankful to take my mind off crying like a blubbery idiot.

Home schooling can be like pushing a dresser full of heavy bricks up a super slippery muddy slope.

I like this, I can relate.

Another rookie mom adds a twist to this saying....pushing the dresser up the hill with no roo roos on in front 100 of your closest friends.

Perfect

I add.....yes, yes, yes then the pictures which are unfortunately all taken from behind will be added to Face Book within 60 seconds.

Well praise God I don't teach my kids school in front of a crowd. Some days my closest friends wouldn't even recognize me. Like Dr. Vicky and Ms. Victoria at times, my demeanor and attitude can change like a flip of  a switch. I wonder, am I really cut out for this, cause this home schoolin' dresser is a little  heavy right now. I replay old thoughts that have run through my heart a gazillion times. Did I even heard God right all those months ago. Perhaps I missed a word or two.

You should NOT home school your kids.

You should NOT home school your kids

You should NOT home school your kids.

Did I miss the NOT part?

Probably NOT.

It's just hard. I'm finding my niche and style. Admittedly, I have already made a lot of mistakes along the way. I am a student when the bell rings, just like my kids are. Most lessons of the heart have come from the pushing the dresser days more so then on the sunshiny perfect days.

I can't be certain what school day # it was when I freaked out just a tidy tad. What month? Doesn't matter. Work books and lesson not finished, fussy students and a teacher with heavy duty stuff on her mind. My headache was getting worse by the minute,  sinus pressure for sure. Could I find a sub? Do I get any sick days? I entertained the idea of cancelling school for the day but I knew deep down this would be a total cop out by me. The easy way out, we could make it up another day, who needs Bible Story time anyway? I could physically feel the enemy on my back, breathing down my neck, pushing me farther down the slippery slope. No wait, there really is someone on my back, it's Delilah.

Please get off my back.

No way am I in the mood for a juicy 4 year old weighing me down.

Please get off my back I say again.

I type the word please but I'm not thinking I wasn't that kind about it. La-La begins to tear up, drama or not she declares she doesn't like this MEAN MOMMY.

I ignore her comment and prompt her to re-write her entire page of upper case E's.

I can't was her response.

I tower over her chair, oh yes you can and you will.

I look away for 8 seconds to pop and swallow 2 Tylenol.

Turning my head and my focus to students #2.

Please tell me you have finished your spelling word work?

Not yet.

I grab the timer off the fridge on the way back over to the table. The count down from 20 minutes is moving quickly toward T minus 1 minute. How hard is this, 10 one syllable words 3 times each in your best handwriting. My blood boils as I look down at the paper. Not one single stroke of lead, no name, no date, only holes scattered sporadically around the lined rectangular piece of paper. This student who shall not be named claims it to be a drooling problem not a I'm not doing my work problem.

How do the teachers at real school do it? Does having a teaching certification give them super human patience and skills just not found in this aging faster than she would like to admit mom? Team Zybko Academy has a total of 3 Hamsters. Yes, our Mascot is a hamster. Seemed really cute at the time. Well now....too late to change it, t-shirts already at the printers.
How hard should this be?

Only 3 students and they are mine. I have known them since before birth. I personally nursed these hamsters for months and months. Whoops that came out weird. But really...Real school can have up to 10 times that amount of youngsters to teach. I'm pretty certain they don't wash their students dirty underwear or have a history of boobie night night either. I am 110 percent vested. Those silly ole paid educators couldn't possible love their class like I love mine. I kiss them good night, tuck them and all. Thinking I appreciated teachers before August 10th of last year, now....I really, really do.

Shouldn't this be easier? My brain is a cracked up broken record. I'm getting nowhere.

I find hope in student # 3, my last pupil appears to be working hard on long division. After re-setting the timer I work my way over to my only favorite student, the kid de jour. Giving a thankful pat on the back, I explain how proud I am someone is obeying and working hard. I begin to check the math problems, hhhmm they don't really look familiar. Lesson 54 right? Yea, lesson 54....a set of problems 1-25.

Hun-neey you are supposed to be doing long division not multiplication.

I know but it was too hard so I just did something I knew how to do already.

Is this really how the day is going to roll?

La-La interrupts my thoughts by loudly declaring she has mastered the art of upper case E's. Oh, it's art all right, all the way up and down her short pudgy arm. E's with about 8 horizontal lines on each letter, drawn with an unauthorized red sharpie marker.

Student #2 two is no farther along with spelling but can now successfully do a killer spit trick. Any other day of the year I would have given him a high five or an impressed smile. Whoa, I mean to actually be able to move a pencil with orange juice phlegm. A plus. Down from the mouth to the table and then back again. How many people know how to do that?

This spit must have been the what broke the camel's back. I'm pretty mad by now. I try to remember to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Epic fail on my part. I break the pencil in my right hand and slam my fist on the table with my left.
.

Ya'll stink and I quit.

Throwing the 2 broken pieces onto the ground I turn and leave the room.

Only about 30 steps from the "school room" to the back of my closest. I'm convicted right away, even before the creaky door is slammed shut.
Geez, when did I turn into that old Joan Crawford lady shouting about stupid wire hangers.

I ask GOD right away for forgiveness. In the same breathe I ask him for help. With my head buried deep in my hands I repeat Psalm 25 over and over again
.

Show me the way O' Lord

Teach me your paths

Guide me in your truth and teach me

For you are God my savior

and my hope is in you all day long

AGAIN, AGAIN and AGAIN

Throw a little Deuteronomy 31:8

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you;

He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Plus John 16:33

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart ! I have overcome the world."

These are my GO TO verses. The verses that make me breathe. They allow me to breathe. I start my day, go about my day and end  my day with them. This small sampling of God's word gets me back on track. I can't get it right with my students and the hamsters I dearly love until I get straight with God whom I dearly love.

PSALM 25
DEUTERONOMY 31
JOHN 16

RINSE- LATHER- REPEAT
I hear the school timer from the other room.
Ok, the gig is up.
My quiet re-pentful time is up.
I'm fueled up.
My heart is cleaned up.
I slowly stand up.

I head right back to the dining room to face my class. Once again I feel a slight pressure on the back of my shoulders. I know for sure it's not a big headed Zybko looking for a free piggy back ride. I smile, I know who it is.
HE is with me always.
When the dresser gets to heavy HE is is there.
 HE has got my back.
 HE has pushed this big ole heavy dresser up the slope already.
HE has been there, done that.
I'm learning how to do this. HE knows that.
HE wouldn't have asked me to home school if HE thought I couldn't do it.

After apologizing and getting it right with my kiddies, I ask them for a re-do. They agree.
That you God for second chances.